“Hey Dylan, do you want some toast?”
“I’m not Dylan. I’m Dylan’s sister.”
“Oh, what’s your name?”
“I don’t have one yet.”
“Ok. Hey, Dylan’s sister, do you want some toast?”
“Sure.”

Sam: we hoisted a burrito for you at the project status meeting. you’d have been proud.
Jake: I believe that’s the first time a burrito has been hoisted for me.
Sam: I’m sure it won’t be the last. in fact, that’s how you should ask to be honored from now on.
Jake: I’m going to request that for my funeral.
Sam: you should request to be buried in a life-sized tortilla

(In the checkout at Home Depot.)
Dylan: Dad, can we get one of those?
Jake: No, we don’t really eat Snickers.
D: Is it chocolate?
J: Yes, but it’s also other things and it’s not very good for you.
D: Like hydrogenated oils?
J: Yes, buddy. Like hydrogenated oils.